Bubba is one of those Southern “Good ‘ol Boys” we from the north often hear about. He is also my neighbor and friend. He is the type of guy you enjoy sitting with on the patio and sharing a couple of beers. Bubba is also pretty narrow and rigid about his religious beliefs and carries on about them frequently. For example, he firmly believes that the universe was actually created in seven calendar days. He believes Jesus literally, physically rose from the dead, an actual event. He believes all miracles are real instead of metaphors telling a story. These are just a few of his beliefs. However, even though I do not believe the same things, we get along very well.

Today we are on the patio and he was waxing on again about his beliefs and how he just did not understand why more people did not believe like him. He had many stories to back up his beliefs. Every once in a while, I enjoyed telling him a story that “jerked his chain” and challenged his thinking. This was one of those days.

I said to him, “Bubba, today let me tell you a story.”

“Oh my God, not again!” he retorted. “Every time you tell a story, you get me really riled up and it takes me a week to unwind.”  He mugged a sarcastic smile and said, “I suppose you are going to tell the story in spite of my delicate feelings. I guess I’ll have to listen.”

“Bubba, I think you’ll agree with most of what I’m about to tell,” I said, trying to ease into my story.

“Let’s start with a bit from the Bible. In the beginning, God is. And, God is everything and therefore everywhere. You with me so far?”

Bubba nodded for me to continue.

“And,” I said, “God is spirit and God is eternal, right?”

Bubba’s curiosity was perked up—he was now leaning toward me across the table.

“So, let’s be clear about this word ‘eternal’. Eternal means forever without beginning or end—there’s no yesterday or tomorrow. So, what else is known about God?” I asked.

“Well, He’s creative, isn’t He? He created the Earth and stars and everything.”

“Great! Bubba do you disagree with any of this so far?”

Bubba looked a bit confused as he said, “Yeah, I’m with you so far, I just don’t know where you’re going.”

“OK,” I said. “Let’s recap slowly. In the beginning,

• God is, He exists
• God is spirit
• God is everywhere and everything
• God is eternal, meaning forever
• God is creative.

This should be right in line with your beliefs, right?”

Bubba nodded vigorously.

“Bubba, do you realize what you’ve just said? You and the universe and everything here cannot exist.”

“What!” Bubba yelled. “What are you on about? If I thump you on your thick head with this beer bottle, it will certainly exist and be mighty real!”

“Bubba,” I continued gently, “You just said that the only thing that can exist is God as spirit forever. Only spirit, Bubba. Nothing physical can exist—it’s all spirit forever. If there is something that is, it has to be spirit. You and the universe are physical. You’ve just defined yourself out of existence!”

Bubba just sat there for almost a minute with a deer-in-the-headlights look.

“So, Bubba, my story ends with a question. Are you God? Is your physical self a figment of God’s imagination? What do you think?”

Bubba shook his head and after a very long pause mumbled, “As usual, you’ve hurt my head again.” After another long pause and much head shaking, he said, “Ah the hell with it—let’s get another beer.”

Larry Patzer
May 2017

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